Enough
by OuroborosSnyder
Summary: My take on what happened after the screen went black in "Lady's Man." BA. Now Complete.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Enough  
**Show:** LOCI  
**Pairing:** Bobby and Alex.  
**Disclaimer:** Sadly enough, I don't own anything. This is written for pure enjoyment only and no profit to be gained!  
**Rating:** T  
**Spoilers:** "Lady's Man."  
**Authors Note:** I was re-watching all of season 8 and I decided I had to write something about this episode. I mean, c'mon. This killed me! I loved this episode; one of my favorite episodes of the season. I'm going to try and write this all in present tense btw.  
Note: I started writing this about 9 months ago and I'm just now getting around to posting it. I'm working on a story that is post "Loyalty" Part 1 and 2, but I don't know when I'll get to posting it.

**Summary:** My take on what happened after the screen went black in "Lady's Man."

**CHAPTER: 1**

Alex and Bobby are back at their desks finishing up their paperwork. The ADA, Kevin _Mulrooney,_ is locked up; he'll more than likely be locked up for a very long time.

It's over. It's finally _over_. The case is solved; at least that's what it says in the report. To Bobby, however, it doesn't _feel _like it. It doesn't feel _over. _There's something unnerving him as he signs his report at the bottom. He closes the file and looks up and across his desk and glances at Alex.

_Her. _

She's the reason why he's so agitated. She's the reason why he's so fucking worked up over this.

_Alex._

And he knows she's numb; he's numb, too. He wishes he could be numb _for _her and take all her pain away. He's hesitant to even think of the word _weak, _but she _looks _weak. She truly does. And the thing that scares him…she looks _lost. _ The thought unsettles him deeply. He's not use to her looking so weak, so vulnerable. She's supposed to be the strong one.

_Alex, come back to me. _

He wants her to look up at him but she's staring down at the papers in front of her. And she _feels _weak; she does. She's too tired to move from this very spot. She looks like she's reading over what she wrote, to any other cop in the squad room it would look that way, but Bobby's knows her too well. She's staring at the paper in front of her but she's miles away. She wants to _be_ miles away.

_Just come back to me._

But she can't. She can't escape her mind at the moment; she can't escape this _case._

Bobby suddenly stands up and heads to Ross's office. He's gone no more than a few minutes; Alex hardly notices.

She's still _gone. _

"Alex…" Bobby says and somewhat startles her when he softly places his right hand on her left shoulder. He's barely touching her; it's just enough to let her know he's still here. That he's not going anywhere. "Let's go." He says and pulls his hand away before it lingers too long for her liking.

She looks up at him finally and then glances back down at her paperwork amazed at the lack of words written down.

"I'm not done—"

He shakes his head. He'll have none of it.

"Doesn't matter." And it really doesn't. "We can leave. I finished my report and for now, it's enough." He answers her in a low voice. "I talked to Ross." He says in a much quieter voice this time. "We can get out of here."

With little resistance, she starts to pack up her things. He's astonished by the lack of rebuttal on her part. Bobby's surprised she's not yelling at him for going behind her back and talking to Ross. He's surprised she's not screaming at him, shouting from the top of her lungs that she doesn't need his help.

A lot of things seem to amaze him lately.

_Hmm. That was too easy._

He looks her over once more and notices how exhausted she looks. She gives in easily because she's weak in the sense of being tired. She so fucking emotionally _drained _that it's not even funny.

As Bobby watches her for a split second he wonders what's going on in her head.

_If only I could read her mind like so many people think I can do._

Satisfied that she's packing up her things, he walks over to his desk and does the same. Within a few minutes they're heading out of 1PP and towards the elevators.

Once they're in the elevator, alone Bobby looks over to Alex.

"Have a drink with me." He says and suddenly Alex feels like she's back in the first year of their partnership. But as soon as she looks up at him and see's his aging face, his gray hair, the weight he's put on, the darkness under his eyes, she realizes that they're eight years into their partnership and _a lot_ has changed.

She wants to argue and say 'no.' She wants to be left alone and just cry herself to sleep. She wants to go home and forget about everything…but then she quickly remembers that going home would _remind _her of everything.

_He was in my home. He went through my drawers. My clothes. My—_

And then she hears Bobby's voice pulling her out of her thoughts.

She's grateful for it because she doesn't want to think.

"Eames?" He questions. His voice is so soft. The look of concern is written all over his face. He doesn't pity her, he's just concerned. He see's her shake and reaches to touch her elbow. He's mere inches away from it when she looks him in the eyes.

She nods and whispers, "Okay."

He sighs somewhat relieved and lowers his arm back down to his side.

* * *

Bobby drives them to the bar. He was bewildered when Alex handed him the keys when they reached the SUV. It was at that point that he really noticed how _exhausted _she was; how much this fucking case took out of her. He watched her almost helplessly as she climbed into the passenger seat.

As he pulls out of the 1PP parking garage he looks at her out of the corner of his eye. She's staring out the side window, watching the world as it passes her by. He knows that's what she's thinking. He knows her almost too well. He _knows_ those feelings because he's been there before; more times than he dares to count. He doesn't want nor has he ever bothered counting the number of times he's stared numbly out the window while Eames drove off to wherever. He remembers a time when he didn't care where she drove as long as she kept them moving because it kept him _thinking._ He always feared what would happen to him if she wasn't there to keep him…stimulated, _mobile. _It was so like him, he knows, but nothing like her. It somewhat scared him that the roles were reversed because he's honesty not sure how to deal with it.

"Eames—" He says slowly. "If you're too tired to go out, I understand. I just…" _Want. _The word 'want' never passes his lips, though. He stops himself short of saying it.

She looks over to him. He looks nervous, unsure. She shakes her head at him and doesn't question what he was about to say. She already knows.

_He wants to make sure I'm okay._

"Let's get those drinks." She says as she turns her head and gazes back out the passenger window.

* * *

**A/N: **Well, like cifan said, I too am not ready just yet to tackle "Loyalty." I have a Loyalty fic I've been working on since it ended, but I still can't (sad look).

Anyway, let me know what you're thinking. Please be patient with the update since I'm still very busy with school.

-Snyder-


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Sadly enough, I don't own anything. This is written for pure enjoyment only and no profit to be gained!

**A/N: **The quotes I use from the episode are word for word because I watched the episode and wrote them down myself.

**CHAPTER: 2**

They make it to the bar in once piece. Bobby was careful driving there, but by the look on Alex's face, he knows he could've rammed into another car and she never would have known.

_She's still astray._

They enter the bar and find one of the last booths in the corner. _It's so cliché,_ Bobby thinks as he slides in to one side of the booth and glances up just in time to catch Alex sliding into the other side. They sit across from each other like they've always done and before either of them can say a word there's a lady greeting them and asking them what they'll have to drink.

They order their drinks; Bobby a Glenlivet and Alex a bourbon on the rocks. His face was unreadable when she ordered it and he couldn't help but remember back to when the bartender told Bobby what her and Mulrooney use to order:

_She likes wine… _Bobby remembers saying with a smile on his face and then hearing the bartender say: _She was the bourbon…_

He allows himself a half smile as he recalls the thought.

Alex, however, doesn't notice his sudden smile. She's too busy arguing with herself. She wanted to order something different. She doesn't _want_ a bourbon on the rocks. A margarita, a screwdriver, a long island, some stupid fruity drink, an A.M.F., something fucking _strong; _anything but bourbon, but her stubbornness told her _no. _She had to order the bourbon. It was like a challenge to her. She wonders if there will ever be a time when she doesn't think of _him _when she drinks it.

They sit quietly at their table and listen to the others in the bar carrying on with their conversations. It's not an uncomfortable silence, but it's not a comfortable one either. The lady returns with their drinks, Bobby smiles politely, they both murmur 'thank you,' and then the silence towards the two of them is back.

Bobby bites his lip and nervously scratches the back of his head. He looks at her as she takes a sip of her drink. He does the same and then slowly sets it back on the table. His thumb swirls around the lip of the glass as he builds up the courage to speak. It's been a long time since they've gone out for drinks; well over a year now.

_Has it been longer than two? _He doesn't know.

It feels foreign to him and the thought saddens him.

_What happened to us? _He suddenly wonders.

"Eames—" He begins. Here it goes. "About Mulrooney…"

And he feels so out of _practice _all of a sudden.

_What happened to our talks being easy? It use to be so simple, so natural to talk to Alex and vise versa…but that time seems so long ago; a distant memory of what use to be. _

Bobby runs one of his long fingers over the edge of the glass to wipe away the condensation that forms around it.

Alex looks up from her glass and glances his way. She doesn't make eye contact, he understands the reason for it, but it still makes him nervous.

She's staring somewhere between the edge of the table in front of him and his chest when she finally says, "It's okay."

And it's not okay. Bobby knows it. He wants to jump up and yell that it's _not _okay. None of this was _okay. _Ever. He wants to pound that guy, Mulrooney, into the ground.

He starts to become agitated. Nothing new. Same shit. And like all other times, his mind begins to race.

_Pound him? Fuck that, how about take my gun out and shoot him? Yes. Much better. At least it would shut him the fuck up.  
_

He begins to fidget and starts to bounce his left leg up and down but quickly stops himself. He's anxious, nervous, pissed off, in _pain,_ and Alex can tell all of this information right away when she finally makes eye contact with him. She can see it in his eyes. And she gets it. She really does. She almost feels flattered; she would be if she wasn't so tired, so deflated.

She remembers back to when Bobby knocked into Mulrooney, on purpose of course, just before he handed her his handcuffs.

_Sigh._

It's silent again between the two of them. Neither one of them can seem to find the right words. They slowly continue to sip their drinks. Bobby's still disturbed, hesitant, and more importantly _concerned _about her. He contemplates what made him ask her out for drinks in the first place. They hadn't done it in so long, but after this case he felt that he had to. Not obligated; just _had_ to. When he chances a glance her way again he's all of a sudden not so sure this was a good idea after all. He's about to say something, more than likely something stupid and off the wall to lighten the mood when she speaks first.

"You know…" She begins. She's so timid; possibly unsure. It's _her _that's hesitant to speak this time. He squirms because he's unable to read her. She sighs and takes a long sip of her drink. She sets it back down on the table and realizes, for the first time that it's almost empty already. She briefly wonders where the contents went. "It sucks." She finally says. "You think you can trust someone and then…" She halts and looks up at him. He's nodding ever so slightly. She doesn't need to continue because, oh boy, does he get it. He _knows _and _feels _those feelings all too well. And sadly she realizes that if anyone gets it, the whole trust issue thing, it's Bobby.

_Well, shit. _She thinks.

And inside Bobby feels ridiculously giddy. Not because they're actually _talking _again, oh no, it's because of the look she has in her eyes. She _trusts _him again. She trusts him enough to talk to him, to _confide _in him.

And then he's frowning again; his excitement is short lived.

"Eames, you…" He begins and suddenly finds the table very intriguing. "You know you can trust…me." He finally gets out. The word 'me' lingers in the air. The pitch in his voice rises somewhat with his last word and it almost comes out like a question rather than a statement like he wanted. He looks back up to make eye contact with her and see's her staring at him.

She wants to snort and laugh out loud but she figures he would take it the wrong way. He looks so serious all of a sudden. She cocks her head to one side to contemplate his words and then nods. She really doesn't need to think about it. She already knows she can; she was just surprised by his words, by his _insecurity _of it all. Even after all the shit that's happened to him, to her, to them, to their partnership, she still trusts him. She figures she always will.

Alex faintly smiles at him, _for _him, to reassure him; she's not entirely sure, but by the time he see's it and blinks once, the smile is gone. It vanishes way too soon and his frown only enlarges because of it.

_Everything is disappearing way too soon nowadays._

Bobby finally relaxes when he see's her nod, though. He feels guilty for bringing himself into this. Tonight is about her, not him, but he felt a desperate need to bring that up. He had to make sure she knew.

The silence is back as they disappear into their own thoughts. Both are thinking about the case that neither of them wants to speak of.

She glances back over to him when a thought crosses her mind. And he looks like he's being sincere; she _knows_ he is but suddenly the case with Joe pops into her head. There's fire in her eyes again and it's a good thing she decides to dip her head down before he sees. The only thing she's focused on all of a sudden is the thought that he's _right _once again. She tries, as hard as she can, but she can't push the idea of him being _right_ out of her mind. Maybe it was everything mixed with the alcohol, but she wants to reach over the table and slap him all of a sudden.

_Is he ever wrong? _She can't help but wonder. _Why does he always have to be fucking right? Why, why, why, why, why!_

And she's angry. She needs to be angry. She knows her anger shouldn't be directed towards Bobby but he's the closet target right now. And he's always right, most of the time anyway, but the two biggies are the ones that hurt her the most: Joe's murder and now, Mulrooney. Bobby was right about both cases. And she's so fucking sick of him always being spot on about a case; always being right about her _life_.

Alex looks up, the fire still in her eyes, and as quickly as it appears, it's gone. _Fuck. _All traces of anger vanish from her face when she see's the look on _his_. Bobby's big brown eyes darken significantly and he looks _sad _and possibly scared; like a fucking wounded 6'4," 250 pound plus puppy. He's not nervous anymore; the sad look replaced it and she knows right away that he's thinking the same thing. Oh, how he wishes he was wrong just this once. How he wishes he could do anything to take back Mulrooney's last words to her.

He replays in his mind Mulrooney's last few sentences he said to Alex over and over again:

_All right, all right, all right. You'll find things. This bitch can gloat. But I've seen her broken. A crushed flower sobbing…for poor, dead, Joe. And wanting me… _And he remembers Mulrooney halting his speech and leaning up against the wall, the fence. And then Bobby remembers replying back to him: _But not as strong as you._

He shakes his head to evade the memory that he knows will haunt him for years to come. That was one of the worse interrogations he's ever had to do.

"I'm sorry, Eames." He quickly says. He knows he's treading on thin ice. "I know you don't want pity, I know you don't want to hear those words again, but I…I just…I'm _sorry._" He says never breaking eye contact with her.

Alex isn't caught off guard by his admission, she's just unsure of how to respond to him. She knows he means it; she can see it. She wants to cry because _he _looks like he's about to; or maybe he already is…inside. She doesn't know but all of a sudden she's wondering if she's ever seen him cry before.

Before she can say anything or ponder her idea of Bobby crying any further, however, the waitress comes around and asks if they'd like another round. Both nod and quickly order the same. Once the lady walks away, Bobby turns his full attention back to Alex.

She sighs and bluntly says, "I really don't know what the fuck to say." And she's disgusted with herself because she doesn't know how to respond to him. If this were the first couple years into their partnership, it would be simple. Nothing is simple between the two of them anymore.

And Bobby sadly smiles because he really doesn't know what to say either. He has no fucking clue what to say. He reaches up with one of his large paws and rubs the back of his neck. What he wants to say and what he does say are usually two totally different things. He ponders his thoughts as the waitress comes back with their drinks.

Right as he takes a sip of his drink, closing his eyes as the cool liquid travels down his esophagus, even enjoying the burning sensation he's getting from it, she asks, "Why_ are_ you sorry?" It was out of the blue but she's curious all of a sudden.

He sets his drink down; resisting the urge to reach out and touch her the entire time. He wants to, but he knows he's not_ allowed _to. And he wants to blurt out 'everything,' he's sorry for _everything, _but he can't.

He chooses to stay on the topic of Mulrooney and nothing else…for now.

"He said some pretty…" He pauses. He's not even sure what to call the remarks Mulrooney made against Alex. "I just…" He hesitates. "You needed someone close after Joe…" His voice fades slightly at the mentioning of Joe. "You thought you…you could trust him. You deserve better. You…I just…I'm sorry. I just hate to see you look—" And he freezes. His eyes widen drastically and he immediately dips his head down to evade her piercing stare.

_Fuck._

"Bobby? You hate to see me look so what?" She asks, now looking at the top of his head. She has to know what he was about to say.

_Shit._

He slowly raises his head to meet her eyes. Her eyes are very serious all of a sudden and he wishes he could just dig a hole and bury himself.

He swallows and whispers, "So broken." He sounds so hoarse.

And he knows she doesn't like it when he analyzes her, but this isn't a tough one to figure out. It's so fucking apparent that even a stranger would pick up on it.

Alex's facial features change instantly. She swears she heard him murmur 'I'm sorry' _again,_ but she isn't sure. She looks at him like she did when he told her he was concerned for her; when they were sitting at their desks in 1PP. Her head is tilted to one side and Bobby's frozen in his seat, numbly waiting for her response.

But she's not going to yell at him because she_ does_ look broken and she knows it; she _feels _broken.

_Is that even possible? _She suddenly wonders._  
_

Alex downs her drink in one sip and signals for the check. Bobby's a bit panicked by this point and figures he said the wrong thing.

_It wouldn't be the first time. _

When the bartender comes back with their tab, Alex pulls out two twenties and a ten and drops them on the table.

"I…I can get that…" Bobby stutters but it's a day late and a dollar short because she's already tossing her wallet back in her purse.

"I know your financial situation." She murmurs and gets up. She takes a few steps towards the door and only stops when she doesn't feel the large presence of _her _Bobby behind her. Whenever he's not walking beside, in front, or behind her, she feels like something's missing. She turns back around to look at him. He's confused and she knows he thinks he said or did something wrong. "Are you coming?" She asks.

He nods, sighs softly in relief, downs the last of his Glenlivet, and then scoots out of the booth while mass confusion sets in.

* * *

Bobby knows he's just above the legal limit to drive. They both know it, but disregard it. He doesn't even ask her if she wants to drive and, honestly, he'd rather him drive than her right now. It takes a significant amount of alcohol to affect him and he knows that her thoughts are way too far gone to be driving.

When they reach the SUV, he clicks the unlock button on the remote and is pleased, grateful to see her open the passenger door and close it without any resistance.

He walks around to the other side and gets in. He watches her as she puts on her seat belt. He does the same but never takes his eyes off of her. He then starts the engine, places both paws on the top of the steering wheel…and then hesitates.

"I…Where do you…" He stammers. "Where do you…I mean, do you want me to take you home?"

"No." She says almost a little too quickly.

_No._

He nods. He understands her not wanting to go back home tonight, _or ever._

"Where—" He begins but she cuts him off.

"Your place isn't far." She whispers and it almost sounds like a question the way her voice goes up in pitch.

"Eames, are you sure—" He stops himself when he see's her slowly nodding.

She turns her head to look at him and whispers, "Yes. Please."

Bobby blinks because he's quite possibly never seen her this broken. And she is broken. It's so apparent now; more so than it was ten minutes ago. And ever since their arrival at the bar and their short talk, Alex appears to be slowly letting go of her emotions more and more. They seem to be showing, on her sleeve, for only Bobby to see now and as much as her emotions are killing him, he's grateful she's not trying to hide them.

_Alex._

Even in the dark night skies, even sitting in the dark SUV he can see it. She's lost all hope and that scares him. He's suppose to be hopeless, not her. She's mentally so fucked up, but who wouldn't be after the shit she just went through? She's so soft, so fragile, tired, vulnerable and worn out. He sees desperation in her eyes; almost like they're pleading with him. It's not the reaction he was expecting from her. Not even close to it. A yelling and screaming Alexandra Eames he can deal with, but a broken and sorrowful one makes him nervous. It makes him nervous because he doesn't know, he isn't quite sure what to do or how to deal with it.

_What am I suppose to tell her? What am I suppose to say to her?_

And it also makes him sad because _she's _sad. It kills him to see her this way.

He looks back in front of him, puts the SUV in drive and pulls out.

* * *

**A/N: **I have no idea how much it costs to drink in NY. All I know is I went out to the bar a couple weeks ago it cost me 25 bucks for two drinks here. LOL Anyway, notice pretty much all the drinks I listed are _strong _(besides a screwdriver which is just vodka and orange). Oh, and for those of you scratching your head, an A.M.F. is a very strong drink. A.M.F. stands for 'Adios Motherfucker.' It's goood, full of alcohol. Kind of like a long island. =) A few of either of those and, bye bye.

Anyway, more to come. Thanks for reading.

-Snyder-


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** Sadly enough, I don't own anything. This is written for pure enjoyment only and no profit to be gained!

**CHAPTER: 3**

As Bobby drives back to his apartment, he speculates what their conversation will entitle once they get _home. _And he won't even acknowledge the fact that he's thinking about taking her home. He's in denial about that. But he can't help but wonder:

_Is there going to be yelling and screaming? Throwing of objects possibly? Is she finally going to break down once and for all and release all the emotions she's been holding in throughout the case…? Or, for that matter, the emotions she's been holding back for years…_

And the one that kills him the most.

_Crying. Is she going to cry?_

And he shakes briefly at the thought because it kills him inside when she cries. It always has.

Yelling _at _him he can take. Crying _to _him he's not sure of; mainly because he's afraid he'll cry, too. And he knows he can't. Not this time. He needs to be strong for her because, for once in his life he wants to completely be there for her.

* * *

When they arrive at his apartment he unlocks the door and allows her to enter first.

_Oh, god, is my apartment clean? _He wonders as he walks in and shuts the door behind him.

She's only been to his apartment a few times over the years. She always felt comfortable there, but never really made herself at home. She knew he was, for the most part, a private person. Tonight, however, she feels like she's home. To her his place _feels _like home. She feels comfortable and she briefly wonders if it's because she feels so _uncomfortable _at her _own_ home.

And Bobby smiles inwardly to himself because he quickly realizes that he doesn't need to tell her to make herself comfortable or make to herself at home like all the other times before because he's watching her already do so. He keeps a close eye on her while trying not to be too obvious, but he examines her closely as she quickly kicks her shoes off, tosses her coat and purse to the side, and heads straight through his kitchen and into his living room. Once in the living room she plops down on the couch with a small thud.

"Would you like—"

"Yes, please." She says.

And there's no hiding Bobby's smile this time. The statement, her last one makes his heart soar because, for a split second they seem almost in sync. They seem like they're on the same page again. _Finally. _He doesn't know how long it's been, _too long, _that they've actually been _out _of sync.

He continues to smirk as he walks over to his refrigerator.

"What would you like?" He casually says over his shoulder.

"Water's fine." She replies back.

She doesn't need to get belligerently drunk in front of him. She needs to have some sort of control in her life.

Bobby grabs two bottles of water from the refrigerator and heads into the living where Alex sits. He hands her the water and then pauses for a second. He's unsure where to sit so he takes a few more steps and plops down on the chair next to the couch.

She numbly opens the water and takes a sip. A few seconds later she's lost in space. She's thinking again and Bobby can't help but wonder if this is how he looks when he's in his little thinking mode. He's so content on just _watching _her that it doesn't even occur to him that he's staring.

As Bobby watches her, he can't help but wonder about some things: _I wonder what she's thinking about. How does she really feel? Is she okay? Is she going to be okay? _And then he remembers that this is Eames. _Of course she'll be okay…eventually._

Alex, of course doesn't notice him staring at her because her eyes are closed and she's too lost in her thoughts to give a shit at the moment. After a few seconds of musing, a thought pops into her mind. She's remembering the conversation her and Bobby had at 1PP after Bobby had gone behind her back to talk to Mulrooney at the bar:

"_Well, I'm concerned." _She remembers Bobby saying. And she'll never forget _that _look on his face. It was startling because he's never shown her that kind of emotion before; not towards her, not with words anyway. The emotion he does show, besides his outbursts of anger that he has no problem exposing to the world, is usually always and only in his eyes and only a limited number of people can actually _read _those emotions.

Alex is one of those people.

And she remembers the quick pause on her part; just long enough for her to process the three words he said to her before she replied back to him_, "For me?" _

She remembers questioning him with a surprised look on her face. She'll never, ever forget it.

And Bobby responded so quickly to her with a, "_Yeah." _It was almost produced too quickly. Alex immediately knew that he thought she didn't believe him. _"I think he's unstable." _He continued to explain himself.

And Alex just remembers nodding in agreement with him while she tried her damnest to process what he was saying. She couldn't help but wonder, at the time, if Bobby was referring to Mulrooney being unstable or himself.

_Long sigh._

She knows not to go _there _right now.

_Or ever._

Alex opens her eyes once more after recalling the conversation that took place between Bobby and her and realizes where she is.

_I'm not at 1PP anymore. I'm with Bobby and I'm safe and away from that psycho. _And then, _Wait, what? Bobby's…concerned? Since when the hell has he ever told me he was concerned?_

And she can't help but reply those words over and over in her head. _Well, I'm concerned. _Never in their partnership can she ever recall him telling her that before. Not even during their investigation into Joe's murder or when she was in the hospital after she escaped from Jo Gage.

_Never._

She blinks and aimless stares ahead of her.

_He had so much emotion in his eyes when he said it._

She doesn't dare look in Bobby's direction. She's afraid if she does, she'll fall apart.

Bobby, of course, still has his eyes glued to her. He decides to say nothing for the moment and opens his bottle of water and is about to take a sip when he see's it.

_Aw, fuck._

She's crying. Not loudly, not too much, but just enough for him to notice. And he can see, even through the dimly lit room the tears slowly roll down her face.

He sets his water down on the coffee table and is by her side within a matter of seconds.

"Alex…" He says.

And maybe it's because he's in his apartment, maybe it's because he can't resist any longer, maybe it's because he's controlled himself long enough, because this time he doesn't hesitate to reach up with his hand to wipe her oncoming tears away with the backs of his fingers.

And she doesn't pull away from him. In fact, she closes her eyes briefly and leans into his touch. This encourages him so he opens his hand and cups her face; his thumb slowly rubbing the skin near her lips back and forth.

This is when her eyes open because the feel of his hand on her cheek is almost too much.

_Almost._

"I'm so sorry." He says almost in a whisper. He knows it's not enough, he _knows, _not for the first time today that she's sick of hearing him say it, but he just doesn't know what else to say.

"Yeah, me, too." She murmurs. She doesn't try and pull away from him. "I sure know how to pick 'em, don't I?" She briefly chuckles as her tears continue to fall. But then she quickly realizes that none of this is really funny and once again her small smile fades quicker than ever.

When Bobby slides his hand from her face to grip one of her hands, she turns to him. She's amazed by what she see's. He's so sincere, so soft, he looks like he's about to cry _again _for the umpteenth time tonight and she swears she see's love in his eyes this time. There's no hiding it; not like he was doing before at the bar.

"Eames…Alex, you—" And he cuts himself off. He's not sure what to say and he can't seem to get the right words out.

_Sigh._

_Fuck it._

And then he leans in and kisses her softly on the lips. His kiss is so soft, his lips barely lingering for more than a few seconds before he pulls away.

"Oh, god, I'm so sorry…"

He immediately feels guilty.

And Alex is so sick of hearing him apologize that she leans in to capture his lips just to shut him up. Why she didn't try this technique years ago, she'll never know.

Once she pulls away, she murmurs, "_Please _quit apologizing."

"Why?" He asks. "Because I…I _am _sorry."

"I know." She softly whispers.

"But—"

"I _know_." She says again. "I know you're not talking just about Mulrooney, but about…about _everything._" She looks up to see him nod. She understands; they both do. "I know you're sorry, but if you say it one more time I'll take my gun out and shoot you."

And he immediately knows she's kidding because she's finally smiling again. A real smile this time.

"Duly noted." He says and matches her smile.

They're silent for a few minutes. Neither one is really sure what to say until Bobby finally breaks the silence.

"Alex, I know you don't want to hear me ramble on, but I need to get this out." He pauses and watches her nod. "You need to know that you…you deserve better than, than him, than…than Mulrooney. You deserved, you _deserve_ so much more…" He sighs and reaches his free hand up to cup her cheek while the other one is still gripping her hand. "I just wish I was the one there to comfort you after…after Joe died."

"Me too." She says. _Me too. _"But you can be here for me now."

And Bobby knows that's his cue…or maybe it was hers because while he's about to reach his arms out to her, she's already falling into him. She wraps her arms around him and holds on to him for dear life and he does the same.

And as soon as he's holding her, Bobby realizes he never wants to let her go. He struggles briefly to hold her as tight as he dares because, for him, it's so much and yet not enough. She fits so perfectly into his arms; he loves how easily he can wrap his arms completely around her. He's surprised she fits so well because he always figured it would be awkward with his size and, well, the lack of hers.

* * *

**A/N: **I had more written but, to be honest, this chapter is driving me nuts! So, I just stopped it here while I continue to scratch my head and figure out how to end this one. =) I'm tempted to leave it here. If you think this is a good enough ending, please let me know and I'll leave well enough alone. If not, I'll continue on for another chapter. Thanks for reading.

-Snyder-


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** Sadly enough, I don't own anything. This is written for pure enjoyment only and no profit to be gained!

**CHAPTER: 4**

Several minutes pass. Bobby's still holding Alex in his arms and for the first time in years, everything feels okay. He knows it's going to_ be_ okay.

He's been reassured by Alex and he feels like he can finally have a fresh start; everything that's happened is in the past now.

After a few more minutes pass, Bobby notices that Alex's breath for the most part has evened out. He figures she's drifted off, she's been so worn out lately, so without warning he tilts his head to the side and every so slowly starts to kiss the trail of tears that fell minutes ago.

He places butterfly kisses on her cheek as he kisses away her pain. And to Alex, it's too much and not enough at the same time. She knows he thinks she's sleeping because she knows he'd never do this unless he thought she was, but she can't help but shudder against him. And she has no idea why she says it, but she murmurs a 'thank you.'

When Bobby hears her speak, he immediately straightens up. She reluctantly does, too; pulling herself out of his embrace. She immediately misses his warmth and the strength she swears he was giving her.

"Sorry I scared you." She says shyly, still deeply missing his strong arms around her.

"It's fine. I…I just thought you were sleeping." He admits and lets his hands fall back to his sides.

"Obviously." She replies and smiles while wondering what else he might try while she's asleep.

She watches him as he rubs the back of his head. She amused by how nervous he is.

"You know, Bobby, its okay to touch me." She says the statement before she can stop herself and only hopes she isn't too red.

His eyes immediately shoot up and stare directly into hers.

"It's just…I don't, I'm not sure what's _okay _to do." He explains and suddenly feels a lot younger than he actually is. He briefly rubs his face with the palm of his hands before continuing. "I mean, it's not like we've really ever held or…or even touched each other during our partnership. We've always sort of, I don't know, kept a…a…"

"A safe distance from each other?" She asks, trying to put him out of his misery as gently as possible.

He swallows hard and nods.

"Maybe that's the problem." He looks at her, confusion covering his face. "Maybe the problem is that we haven't allowed ourselves to comfort each other, especially when it's needed after…" _The Gages, Joe, Bobby's mother, his brother, his real father, Nicole Wallace, and everyone else! _He looks up at her. She flails her hands in the air unable to say her thoughts. He just nods because he knows. She continues, "And it's sort of…I don't know. Not hindered our partnership, or maybe it has, I'm not really sure but…"

Alex pauses because she can already tell Bobby's lost in thought trying to decipher what she means.

"You think that by allowing me to comfort you and to…to hold you and vise versa, it would've helped us." He says matter-of-factly. It's not a question but she responds anyway.

"Yes, I do. I think it would have. Especially during some of the worst nights…" She stops. He's nodding. She doesn't need to continue and he doesn't need to ask what she means. They're on the same page.

"Okay." He says.

"Okay? That's it?"

"For now." Bobby begins. "Yes, that's it."

And suddenly Bobby feels very brave. His courage, his self-confidence is back and shining past all his other problems that seem so little now. He knows they'll be okay and he can't stop thinking about it. Her words of forgiveness only encourage him to help her further.

So out of no where, Bobby stands up from the couch, his hand clutching hers once more, and brings her up to stand right in front of him. He turns and starts to lead her away from the couch; they're only a couple feet from it until he feels resistance on her part. She's hesitant and although she halts him from continuing on, her grip on his hand doesn't loosen.

She won't falter in this moment. She won't allow herself to.

He rubs his free hand over his face once more and as its landing back next to his side he says, "Alex, I'm taking you to bed." He see's the stunned, and to some point, almost horrified look on her face and then adds, "Not the way you're thinking. I know the rumors about me. I've heard them all before, although they seem to have dissipated as I've gotten older, but I do _not _randomly bring women into my bed just to add another notch to my bed post." He says so seriously. "Besides…I don't even have bed posts." He smiles this time.

She always knew those rumors bothered him because she knew he wasn't that type of man. She just never thought he'd mention it to her.

"Bobby, I…" And then she pauses to really _think _about those rumors. Funny, those rumors always made her jealous years back.

"Alex? Alex, did you hear me?"

"Oh, sorry. Um…Bobby, I just…"

He shakes his head; he looks like he's about ready to drag her if need be. Truth is he doesn't want to sleep with her. Well, he does, but not now. He very much loves this woman, but now is not the time to reveal that bit of information. So, for now he just wants to take care of her and make sure she's well. She needs her rest and he's here to make sure she gets it.

"I just want to take you to…" _Wrong! _He thinks. He tries again, "I want you to have my bed tonight so you can rest. You look so exhausted. A few minutes ago you said we should have allowed ourselves to comfort and help one another years ago. Well, I'm trying to do that now. You need to sleep. And if you'd rather I take you somewhere else to sleep, that's fine. I completely understand, but you—"

"No, Bobby." She cuts him off. She makes herself very clear. "I don't want to go anywhere else. I want to be with you."

He smiles. "Then trust me?" He asks and her admittance does not get passed him.

"Always have."

He nods and on that note, starts walking towards his bedroom again. He's surprised his bed is even made but then quickly remembers that the past week has been hell.

_Have I even climbed into it this week? _

Sadly, he can only remember sleeping on the couch for a few hours.

* * *

**A/N: **Sorry I'm just now updating. But, yes, I did it! I'm finally finished with college! (Until I go back for my MA). So I'm graduating this Sunday, June 13th. Even better, I'm graduating with honors as well as a member of Alpha Phi Sigma (National Law and Justice Honor Society). Cool, huh? I have so much free time now, I don't know what to do! I guess I'll write. =)

Anyway, what do you think? I know it's a little short but there will be more! I think I'm just going to wing it for here. Lol. The next chapter is semi-written and it's a mixture of humor and…kind of shippy. You'll just have to wait! Please R&R.

-Snyder-


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** Sadly enough, I don't own anything. This is written for pure enjoyment only and no profit to be gained!

**Special Thanks To: **Blinky38, cifan, CrazyMayhem, FusseKat, Gypsy5, Humor In A Bittersweet Life, locisvu82, Medea Callous, Odakota Rose, rindy713, theweaknessinme, and underarrest39.

**CHAPTER: 5**

Once they're in his bedroom standing at the foot of his bed he releases Alex's hand and turns to face her.

"I'm just going to tuck you in. If you don't want me to stay in the room, I'll leave without another word, but if you want…or if you need…or want me to stay with you, I will. It's up to you, Alex." He discloses and then adds, "It's _my_ turn to take care of _you_."

He's looking towards her when he voices his thoughts and watches as her mouth becomes slightly ajar. He knows she's stunned by the boldness of his words but he refrains from smiling and resists the strong urge to tease her about it.

_Well, it's good to know I can still catch her off guard._

"Okay." She says after a moment. It's the only thing she can think to say really.

He turns to leave but quickly turns back to her and casually asks, "Do you want one of my t-shirts to change into? It'll probably be more comfortable to sleep in. I just hope it doesn't drown you." He smiles at the image of her drowning in his shirt.

_She's so petite and I'm, well, not._

"Sure." And she can't help but smile, too. The thought of being in one of Bobby's shirts oddly comforts her.

After fishing out one of his clean black t-shirts, he hands it to her and walks out the door without another word. He wanted to say goodnight but he's hoping she'll call him back into the room as soon as she's through changing.

So he waits.

While she's changing, he makes sure the front door is locked, gets a glass of water for himself which he quickly downs…and then waits some more.

His anxiety sets in, so much so that he mentally has to calm himself and take a deep breath.

_It's her call. _He thinks. _Because I'm sure in the hell not going to push the idea of me staying in the same room with her._

After a few minutes pass, Bobby assumes he'll be sleeping on the couch because he hasn't heard from her. He walks over to his couch, intending on sleeping on it for the night and right as he's about to plop down, sure enough she calls out to him. When Bobby hears her shout his first name he can't help but sigh in relief. He release a breath he didn't know he was holding, runs his hand through his hair, and then pads down the hallway in socked feet.

When he opens his bedroom door she's already under the covers, on _his _side of the bed no less.

"Comfortable?" He casually asks because he's not really sure what else to say at this point.

"Yes. It's a nice change." She says as sinks further into the mattress.

_A nice change indeed. Why does wearing one of his shirts make me feel so…secure, so safe? _She briefly wonders.

And he nods once towards her because he can't argue with her. He's still in disbelief that he's actually staring at Alex in one of his shirts, curled up underneath the covers in _his _bed.

He's still partially in the doorway when Alex speaks up.

"Bobby?"

"Hmm?"

He looks her in the eyes, patiently awaiting her next words.

"Stay with me?"

"Are you sure?" He asks.

And she doesn't even think about it before she nods and says, "Completely sure."

Bobby walks over to the empty side of the bed and lifts the sheets back. The sheets are pulled back just enough for him to slide in and yet not even close to enough to reveal any of Alex. He made sure of that. He pauses for a split second before he climbs into bed. He suddenly feels very self-conscious. But even more so, he's not entirely sure what to do or what exactly she _needs _of him, from him.

Once he gets comfortable, completely under the dark gray covers, he lies on his back and stares up at the ceiling.

There are butterflies in his stomach and he can't help but think, _Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!_

It's an irrational and an almost juvenile thought, but he can't help but feel nervous about the current situation they're in; especially since he's longed for this for years. He won't deny that he wants more, so much more, but the fact that they're staying together, in the same bed all night is a great start.

But then he quickly finds himself backtracking; second guessing himself. _Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. _He fathoms and is saddened by the thought. _I don't want to ruin what we have… _He doesn't want this to be uncomfortable for him nor her. But his negative thoughts about the situation quickly change when he remembers what Alex said. _Maybe she's right. Maybe we should just allow each other to comfort one another. Maybe if we had in the past then this wouldn't be so uncomfortable now. _

And for once he plans to listen to her.

"Are you going to sleep like that?" She curiously asks, bringing him out of his thoughts. And not for the first time, he's glad for it because his mind is often so dark and negative.

"On my back?" He answers, obviously confused by the question.

_God, he's so damn cute with that little innocent face he does and those puppy dog eyes._

"No." She replies and turns on to her side to face him. "Fully clothed." She elaborates and points to his chest. She decides not to touch him…yet.

"Oh." _Oooohh. _It's like a little light bulb switched on in his head. _His _clothing never occurred to him. "Um, I—"

And he's cut off; not by her speaking, but by her laughing. And of course she's laughing at him.

_Eaaammmmeeessss! _He thinks and suddenly wants to scream in both frustration and humor. _This is so not funny. _He thinks, but it really is._ She's killing me and she doesn't even know it. Or maybe she's doing it on purpose. _He muses. _Hmm…_

He looks at her with his mouth half open. He looks like a fish out of water as if unsure how to respond.

Alex has no idea where her courage is coming from, but she's glad to have it.

"Bobby, it's okay." She reassures him. "I just need someone close tonight…someone I can trust, okay?" He nods slightly, taking note on her reference to the word 'trust.' "So, then, just make yourself comfortable." She declares.

Bobby understands wanting, no, _needing _someone close. He won't resist nor argue with her. In one swift motion he swings both his legs off the side of the bed. After undoing his belt, he carefully maneuvers out of his pants not once glancing her way. He quickly undoes the buttons on his shirt and slips it off so he's clothed in only his black t-shirt and boxers. He slides back into bed and expectantly looks towards Alex. He can't make eye contact with her, though. He's afraid he'll turn beet-red if he does.

And before he can even come up with anything to say, she's speaking again. He's glad she's taking control.

"I hope you don't mind, Bobby, but I stole a pair of your boxers, too."

And if he wasn't red before, he sure in the hell is now!

"Okay…" Pause. "What?" He asks louder than he had intended. Somehow he manages to pull himself together. _Hmm, I'll save this conversation for a rainy day. _He thinks because he really wants to question her about going through his drawers. "Well, after all I _did _tell you to get comfortable."

After seeing the look on his face and the torture she knows she's putting him through, she feels a tad bit guilty.

"I'm sorry, Bobby. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. Maybe I should go out on the couch—"

"No!" He exclaims. "No." He says again, much softer this time if only to reassure her. His hand reaches out to grip her arm. "There's no need for that. If you're uncomfortable with me in here, I can go out there but I want you to get a good night sleep and you definitely won't on my couch. Trust me."

She doesn't respond to him and the room goes silent. He's still lying on his back and she's still on her side facing him but he's no longer gripping her arm. The seconds turn into minutes. Bobby's racking his brain trying to figure out his next move. He's thinking of just saying 'goodnight' and leaving well enough alone, but he doesn't want _this_ to end awkwardly.

_Whatever __this__ is. _

"This is stupid." Alex blurts out.

Bobby slowly turns his head to face her. There's a lot of things Bobby would call this situation, but stupid isn't one of them. No matter how uncomfortable he may look or feel inside, her presence actually calms him. It's just nice not to be alone for once.

"Um…"

She ignores his hesitance and continues.

"We're adults, right?" He nods. "We can do what we want, right?" He nods a little slower this time, unsure of where she's going with this. "Well then…" She begins but halts her speech and decides to show him instead.

She slides over so she's lying right up against his solid, sturdy frame. She can feel him stiffen for a split second but it doesn't discourage her.

"Relax, Bobby. Come over here." She exclaims and wraps her arm around his waist.

"Alex…"

And before he can reject her or think twice about it, she whispers, "Just hold me. Please?"

And once he hears her declaration, he breaks. How could he say no?

"I can do that." He murmurs.

He turns on his side so he's facing her and pulls her right up against him. Her arm is flung around him and his arm does the same. The arm he's laying on is above his head at just the right height so that Alex can rest her head on it. He can feel her bare legs rest against his and he loves the feeling; he welcomes it. It's a connection he hasn't had with a woman in, well, longer than he wants to admit. And then a few seconds later he's wondering if he's ever had such a strong connection to someone. They're only holding each other, he knows, but he finds this position to be so intimate; especially since it's with Alex.

After a minute or so passes, he feels a dampness on his arm and knows she's crying once again.

"It'll be okay, Alex. I promise."

He needs to reassure her.

He removes the hand that's draped around her and reaches up to cup her face. He needs her to look him in the eyes when he whispers so delicately again, "I promise."

And for some reason, she believes him. She has no reason not to. The passion, the _love _he has in his eyes is enough to make her cry harder.

And then before Bobby can think about his actions, he finds himself slowly leaning in to capture her lips. He hesitates mere inches from her lips unsure of whether he's going too fast or not.

_Or maybe I just shouldn't at all._

And just as the thought crosses his mind, he feels her lean in and close the distance between them. He's so very grateful for the help and encouragement.

This kiss lasts longer than the first two; mainly because this feels like more than before. Both of them know this is more than just a reassuring kiss. There is much more passion, more effort, more heat, more intensity, more urgency, more _yearning _in this kiss than before. Both know and feel that their relationship is about to change.

They pull away, saying nothing while catching their breath. Bobby pulls Alex against him and she buries her head in his neck.

_I wish I could stay here forever._

She can't help but notice how _nice _this actually feels.

_Oh, god, why didn't we do this sooner? _

And suddenly she finds herself almost thankful that Mulrooney came back into her life because she knows if he hadn't, she wouldn't be here with Bobby right now.

_Everything happens for a reason. _And as much as the thought kills her, especially when there seems to be _no _reason for Joe to leave her life, she believes it to be true.

Once her tears finally cease, she voices her thoughts to Bobby.

"I've had enough thinking of him, of them. I've had enough thinking about the 'what ifs.' I've had enough crying over Joe, even crying over Mulrooney to a point. I've had enough of all of this. I just want it to end, Bobby. I want to be _happy _again."

Bobby swallows hard and whispers, "Have you had enough of me yet?"

_I'm an ass. _He immediately thinks to himself. _A selfish son of a bitch. _

He closes his eyes tightly, waiting for her to scream at him for his immature question at a time like this, but her anger never comes.

"I'll never have enough of you." She smiles knowing full-well how insecure Bobby can be at times. She doesn't fault him for it either because she's well aware of his past. As soon as he asked the question, she knew he regretted it. She had pulled away just in time to see him close his eyes.

When he hears her answer, _I'll never have enough of you, _his eyes immediately shoot open.

"Then I…" He sighs. _Here goes nothing… _"I can make you happy, Alex. If you're not sick of me, if you'll let me, I'll make you happy. And…and while I'm not the best, I promise I'll treat you better than him. You deserve the best and while I'm well aware of the fact that I have a lot of problems of my own and I'm still trying to recover from them, I can promise you one thing…I'll never, _ever _hurt you on purpose."

"Bobby…"

He thinks she's going to reject him so he makes one final claim, one final attempt to explain to her how much she truly means to him.

"I know this is the wrong time. I should wait…or, no, no, I should…I just shouldn't say anything. It's not my place to, but I can't help it. I can't ignore these feelings any longer. And it's killing me that you're upset because it's only making me want to comfort you, to hold you, to _love_ you more. I just can't deny this any longer and forgive me, but I love you. I really do, Alex."

She blinks.

"Are you sure?" Are the first words to come out of her mouth.

"Alex, I've never been so sure of anything in my life. I may be unsure about what the future holds for me, but I do know that when I think about the future, you're in it. I _want_ you to be in it. I'm sure, Alex, so very sure."

"How long?" She asks.

"How—"

"How long have you felt this way?"

He dips his head down almost ashamed but she places her hand under his chin and raises his head back up. He blinks and looks into her eyes before whispering, "More years than I dare to admit. I was…in denial." He smiles at his wording.

"Me too." She says and mirrors his expression, his smile.

As soon as Alex admits it, she feels like a huge weight has been lifted. She's surprised how easily she admits it because she too, like Bobby, has built a wall up around her heart.

"You, too, what?" He asks bewildered.

"I've been in denial…" She admits. "And I've loved you for years, too."

She watches him close his eyes. She knows he's letting her words sink in but she needs to look him in the eyes again. She needs to see his beautiful, emotional brown eyes.

"Bobby, Bobby, open your eyes." She whispers and he does what she asks. "I love you, Bobby."

And finally Bobby lets go of everything. He finally lets his happiness show. It's been so long. He's always tried to hide what little happiness he'd managed to preserve over the years because, god forbid if anyone actually _saw _him happy.

There are no words to describe how he feels so the only thing he can think of to do is pull her in for another hug. He's speechless. He needs to hold her, to make sure she's real. He's so overwhelmed that he thinks for a second that he's dreaming; that he's imaging the whole thing.

_Never in a million years did I stop to think that she could actually love me too. _

Alex slowly pulls away from him and reaches up with her hand and stroke the side of his face. The fact that he clenches his eyes shut and leans into her touch doesn't get past her. He craves affection more so than she first realized.

When he opens his eyes again, he's staring directly into hers. He soon realizes how easily he can become lost in them. He's memorized by them and by the love they hold.

They instinctively lean in and capture each others lips once more. Alex is the first to open her mouth and he eagerly welcomes her tongue. He's unable to suppress the moan that comes from within because his emotions are running high. He never wants this moment to end and from the enthusiasm he's getting from her, neither does she. Their tongues continue to dual; fighting for the dominance in their newly found relationship before they have to come up for air.

Their foreheads are pressed up against each other when Bobby softly asks, "Are you going to be okay, Alex?"

"Eventually I will be. And this," She motions between the two of them, "Is definitely not hurting." The both smile. "Just like you, I'll eventual heal from all my wounds."

He ponders for a brief moment, wondering if that includes the self-inflicted ones.

"Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

She smiles.

"Ditto, you big lug."

"What would I do without you?" He thinks out loud.

"Probably the same thing I would do…go crazy."

"It's too late for that, Alex, because people tell me I'm already crazy."

He smiles, raises his eyebrows up and down and then leans in to kiss her once more.

_Crazy for you._

But she wouldn't have him any other way.

_The End._

* * *

**A/N: **Well, what did you think? I hope you like the ending. I decided to end it here and keep the rating a mild T. I wasn't getting many reviews so I think this is a good place to end it. Besides, I want to post some new stories I'm working on including a post-Loyalty fanfic. I'm bouncing back and forth between about 4 different stories at the moment so I'm not sure which one I'll end up posting next. Thanks to all my readers!

P.S. I'm officially graduated! I walked last Sunday. =)

Until next time,  
-Snyder-


End file.
